A very good book to the topic, written by Susan Cain, who is speaker being introvert a successful public.
Click on the picture or link provided to get the book.
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Happy Introvert. My Story.
Hi everybody,
Today is the day! Happy Introvert. I’m writing about me being an Introvert and how rewarding it is.
I am blessed and I am happy. If you’ve ever heard anything, just anything what is not favorable about introverts, consider it to be wrong.
Naturally, we can’t put everybody in the same labeled drawer and not make any difference. All of us have unique personalities and we are all very special in our certain unique way.
Meaning nobody can be 100 % introvert or 100% extrovert etc. There are similarities that people have to know to feel comfortable around others and to make others feel comfortable in return.
I will put it in a way that you could notice the average statements and then I’ll tell you about myself and my life as an introvert among people.
I am careful not to wrongly insinuate anybody. Please know, that I am talking about my own Life experience being inspired by a wonderfully talented lady on a YouTube Lisa Irby.
So, let’s get into it.
Mysterious Introvert.
Introverts are very attractive and mysterious.
They don’t talk much (my remark: – as long as they don’t know and trust you).
They are good listeners because they are very attentive, they catch every detail and don’t forget it.
Attention, they are very sensitive. Therefore they actually hear what you are saying and as long as not proven wrong take you seriously, they can be easily hurt.
If you hurt an introvert by mistake,
not meaning that please, do your best to pursue your introvert that it was a mistake and do your best in making it up for him/her.
The small wounds gather in the mind of an introvert and one day he/she will explode with following consequences.
Notice
The Introverts like me wouldn’t come to you at a party to start a small talk as long as they don’t have to. They (like me) would stay somewhere behind the crowd, observing the scene making their conclusions.
If you decide to come up to them (me) and start a conversation you would find the friendly and open-minded person, an interested, responsive conversationalist.
Be careful not asking too many questions. An Introvert would tell you everything by him/herself as soon as he/she trusts you. Feeling attacked by too many questions they would show you their back and flee.
Introvert at a Party
I love to be in public and love merry gatherings, where people laugh and have fun. But… I would always look for a “hiding” possibilities. Since I get my energy from my downtime I would get away for a few minutes just to stay alone and to be able to breathe. Then I would return to the crowd and so it would go on.
On happy occasions, like New Year Eve I am so pleased and excited to be and to party with others. But what do you know? At the end of the day, I am even happier to get back home, to my place, to be able to close the door, to tank energy again.
As I age I need a bit more “alone” time and get exhausted being in public for too long. I barely can stand office meetings and official gatherings. Like you know in Germany you have to improve your professional skills all the time throughout your life. They send you to the weekend seminars, where you have to be in public for the whole day. After that, I need several days to recoup and feel as if all the energy I’ve had is sucked off. Thankfully such things don’t occur too often and there is no secret to tell you, that I am avoiding these gatherings whenever it’s possible.
Explosive Introverts
At home
please never burst into the private space of your introvert if he/she closes the door. They would feel aggressive, respectless attacked and if they don’t show you their annoyance immediately, be aware that one day you’ll need to survive the explosion.
And yes, introverts are very explosive. Be alert not to cross the line. If even they tolerate slash love you, please respect their “alone time” and the signs they give you (like a closed door) that they need it.
Don’t worry. In the first place, a closed door is not about you. They are not angry with you and not hiding anything. They just need to be alone. That’s it. Just to be alone to be able to tank the energy. In a short time, they would return to you happy, loving and grateful for your understanding their needs.
Creative Introverts
Introverts are very creative given the possibility.
You could find out that the most talented and progressive people of our age were and are Introverts. ( like Bill Gates – just a perfect example).
They/I hate to be interrupted and being interrupted several times we would just give up the immediate idea and postpone it for the better time when the Interrupter would not be around. If you are that Interrupter – be careful. You run the chance to lose your introvert forever.
The togetherness with an Introvert requires Calmness and Sensibility and Sensitivity.
I was married to a very demanding person, who would interrupt me even being physically absent. I mean all these pointless telephone calls when a person doesn’t really have anything to say. And that 10 to 23 times a day.
Real terror, right?
I think everybody has to know, that sometimes people are busy not actually doing anything. How could you be creative, if you don’t have the possibility to think? That is the worst case for me.
Introverts are dreamers. They are creators and need time for their dreams. Respect that.
Please notice,
that if your introvert has his creative moment and you think nothing of it, take your time to decide if you really want to become their opponent. It has no point to try to discourage your introvert. He/she consciously would pay no attention to what you are saying. At the end of the day, you’ll know it better. Even so small idea would be nourished to become a success.
You would be on a loser side and you’ll actually lose a part of your introvert’s respect.
If I am doing something already that means I know what, when and how. The thinking process is crucial. You know, like ironing the bedclothes you are building a space shuttle in your mind. At this moment somebody asks you silly questions every five minutes because he/she feels detached. He/she wants your attention back and does his best to get it regardless of what you thinking, feeling at the moment. Even regardless you asking him/her to leave you alone for some time.
Introverts are very faithful.
General statement:
Introverts are very faithful.
That’s right. You can be absolutely sure that if your Introvert agrees to do something, he/she will do it. All the barriers and stones would be pushed out of the way. Be assured – before an Introvert gives you his/her word, your Introvert has considered all the pros and contras.
So just leave him/her alone. Give your Introvert some space and you will be rewarded with endless love and devotion.
Important!
If you want to marry an Introvert you HAVE TO accept/follow these rules. Otherwise, you’d make yourself and your Introvert miserable and your marriage would not last.
Introverts are very smart.
General statement:
Introverts are very smart.
Yes, they are. Not meaning the academical education.
As introverts are very attentive to details, remember the major part of them, with years passing they gather worthful knowledge base that could lead you to the light out of all the kinds of difficult situations.
If you need an advice plus a good listener, who would understand you, seek for an introvert.
Lonely? What is it?
We are never lonely.
(very seldom)
The actual life is happening inside our souls. We share it while being with others and come back to live our own life . It is such a blessing.
As a child I’ve heard so many times from other children:” I am bored, it is boring…”. At that time I couldn’t understand what it was and how it was possible.
Now I appreciate the ability to have such a colorful, exciting life within myself without being dependable on others.
I am never bored, are you?
Every time I am alone I see as a chance to do, create, find out, learn something new.
Now you can laugh,
I don’t like talking on the phone. You know, like many women love chatting about life and you wonder how it is possible to talk for three hours on the phone.
I wonder too. 🙂
Introvert's Friends
This is a special topic.
You could say it is complicated. You could say it is easy to comprehend.
I truly and faithfully love my dearest friends with all my heart. There are not many of them. These wonderful people I’ve been knowing for many years and some of them I’ve not seen for many years. I know, that given the chance I would be overwhelmingly happy to see them, they would feel the same.
In our modern world,
where everything is pretty easy and affordable it is getting more and more difficult to become friends with a person. People have their families and that’s it. In any way, it is like that where I am currently living.
It takes a lot to become a friend of an introvert.
Privacy
is very important and it’s a big deal if introvert invites you to his/her home. That means your introvert trusts you. God forbid you fail his/her trust. An introvert will not forgive you that.
If you are fortunate enough to be friends with an introvert, you’ll have a faithful, understanding and devoted friend for the lifetime. Years can pass by, you would be separated from your introvert friend by time and distance. But once you need him/her, he/she would be on your side at the very moment you ask him/her to. Distance or time would become powerless in no time.
At that point I would like to express my
gratitude to the God, Universe and my friends
for giving me the chance to get to know them, to become friends with them and to be their friend till I die. I will put only the first names here, but they will know 🙂
Natalija,
Sergio,
Reinhard,
Ingrid,
Do you have three friends who you can rely on with your life?
Then you are blessed like me.
Introvert - Approval, Attention...
The introverts don’t seek it.
We observe and once we decide it’s not worth it, we don’t seek approval, we don’t pray for attention. Please don’t try to talk us differently. The approval, the attention of a few is important, not of everyone.
Introvert and Anger Issues
General statement.
Introverts are very tolerant, patient. Once you’ve got on their nerves, the explosion is unavoidable.
That’s true. I am thinking about my very demanding ex-husband. He was/is a heavy smoker, Smoking in the bathroom, he was forgetting to close the window every day, every half an hour three and a half years long. After that, he was continuing forgetting to close the window every second day for another two years. If you remember the very cold years in Germany with much snow and a lot of traffic accidents. We had something like minus 16-20 degrees Celsius. Weekends were the worst. At that time we had only one bathroom in the house and I was thinking to go to the neighbor to pee.
I suppose I started to scream in the fourth year maybe every ten days.
If you ask how did it end, please consider reading my post about being in relations with a narcissistic psychopath. And you see already this very short and determin word “ex”. 🙂
In any way, yes, we are very, very tolerant and patient.
You can see the explosion is coming if your introvert gives you short answers, like “yes” or “no” or “I don’t know”. If your introvert reduces interaction with you to the minimum. Stay aware then.
Once you’ve got an Introvert to explode,
please let your introvert know, that you understand him/her. They say, “don’t say sorry. Say: – I am sorry having done/said this and that.” Your introvert seeing you being sorry for real for the wrongdoing will calm down pretty quickly.
Stay aware!
If your introvert doesn’t answer your calls, emails, refuses to interact with you in any way, doesn’t accept your help if even your help is needed. That means you’ve gone too far and your introvert feels stressed out by you. Step back and don’t pursue.
If you try to pursue you could lose your introvert forever.
Finally - Love
If you are so lucky to be sensitive to the needs of your Introvert,
you’ll get to know the magic.
Introverts are very giving people once you have their trust. Not to forget all the magical romance and so much Love the carry in their hearts. Your life turns out to be a never-ending romance with exciting turns and a fairy of the real comprehending such words like
“forever, forever after, always, etc”.
A very good book to the topic, written by Susan Cain, who is speaker being introvert a successful public.
Click on the picture or link provided to get the book.
Good Luck to us all!
